Story

Everything here was drawn on ms paint except the besutiful cover art

And again this is all satire

DISCLAIMER: These characters are not owned by me, though I wish they were. Minecraft Story Mode was created by Telltale Games and Minecraft is owned by either Microsoft or Mojang but I don’t really know what’s going on, My Little Pony is created by Hasbro Studios or Allspark I guess, Looney Tunes is owned by Warner Bros and the Big Chungus song was created by Endigo, and the main characters(007n7, noli, c00lkidd etc) are from this really small game called Forsaken that’s on this other really small game called Roblox, it’s really underrated a lot of people dont know about Roblox really. and God knows where the other characters came from

Sorrie for bad English, I dont have autocorrect, and sorry Noli’s design changes in every drawing

I’ll give you Robux if you catch every reference. Some of them are extremely niche so I think im safe

PART ONE: CHUNGUS’S VAIN

(Sigma picture)

Prologue

Jesse and Big Chungus lay together on their backs in the grass, staring off into the endless night sky above them. Jesse had always loved stargazing. Chungus preferred to spend his time partaking in other activities, such as feasting, but whatever made Jesse happy made him happy as well, so he supposed it wasn’t a total waste of his time.

Shame and guilt washed over Chungus. Lukas was right. He had left Jesse. But that wasn’t even his fault!! Like, dawg, he literally got murdered what was he supposed to do?? He opened his mouth to yell that at Lukas, but the words stuck in his throat. Chungus started to panic as he realized he couldn’t breathe. He thrashed around desperately, but nothing seemed real anymore. The world was flashing bright colors, and Lukas was melting away before his eyes. He only had a second to try to take in what was happening before everything flashed red, and it was over in an instant.

Chungus awoke with a start. It was just a dream. It was just a dream, he told himself, but that didn’t stop the immense sadness that swamped over him. He was dead, only a mere ghost. (Dont ask why he has to sleep if he’s a ghost, he just lazy) He had abandoned Jesse, the light of his life, and now Jesse was with Chungus’s murderer, Lukas.

Well.

Chungus wasn’t exactly 100% sure that Lukas had killed him. It had all happened so fast. One moment he was investigating WHEKTM’s filthy pool, and the next, he had an axe buried in his skull. He didn’t even get to see a glimpse of the killer. He had to give it to them — whoever it was, they were very stealthy. And quick. Chungus barely felt any pain before he died.

But anyway, it HAD to be Lukas. There was no one else who wanted him dead as badly. Chungus had suspected Lukas hated him, but he didn’t seem to realize his hatred was that extreme. His theory at the moment was that Lukas had always been crushing on Jesse, and had gotten extremely jealous when Chungus showed up. Then, Lukas had killed Chungus so he could have Jesse all to himself. It was just a shame that Chungus hadn’t been able to kill Lukas first, like he was planning to.

Chungus sighed. As his mother had always told him, ‘there’s no use in crying over spilt milk!”. Everything with Jesse and Lukas had been far, far in the past. All he could do now was spectate people’s lives. At the beginning, he had watched Jesse every day. It was pretty painful. Olivia and Axel died early on — Chungus suspected Lukas had killed them as well, to get them out of the way. He then had seen Jesse and Lukas gradually grow closer, having no one else but each other. Eventually, it had been too much to bear.

He had stopped watching Jesse two months after he officially started dating Lukas.

After that, he only watched the lives of strangers. It was fascinating to see how his life might have turned out if only Lukas hadn’t killed him. Chungus wasn’t very good with people. He never really had anyone to talk to back in Los Angeles. Jesse had been the first one to give him a chance. But that had ended so quickly, so Chungus didn’t have much experience with emotions or relationships. Now that he was able to spectate anyone’s lives so freely, he could see things he was never able to experience himself. For example, he was able to see what love really looked like.

When Chungus spectated other people’s lives, he was mainly interested in people’s love lives. He had eventually decided that it was a way of coping with the loss of Jesse, though it didn’t ever seem to help. If anything, it only made it worse.


Well, anyways. Today was the end of Chungus’s suffering. He turned to his calendar. Today was marked as “JESSE. ☻”. Today was the day he would finally find peace.

~ LATER ~

Chungus had arrived at his destination. He had been planning for today for months. Before him lay the hill he and Jesse had always stargazed at. (it’s also the hill they were at in the first book if you read that)

(HERE YOU GO THIS IS WAT IT LOOKS LIKE)

Chungus hadn’t visited this area for years. It brought back too many painful memories. But it seemed fitting to return here today. Over the years, most areas had changed drastically; but not this hill. Only he and Jesse had known about it, and it was still as quiet and peaceful as it had always been.

Chungus lowered his body onto the soft grass, too tired to move anymore. Here he would wait, as long as it took. Until Jesse would come to join him. He knew Jesse. Soon, Jesse would come back for him, because Jesse loved him. And they would both forget all about Lukas and live happily ever after.

He was prepared to lay there for a very long time, years even, but instead he only got about a minute of peace before he heard a tremendous explosion in front of him. He jumped to his feet(he doesn’t feet anymore it’s just a ghostly tail) in shock and his jaw dropped to the ground. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“W-who are you?” Chungus gasped. In front of him was a huge celestial being. It looked a bit like Bugs Bunny, but cooler because Bugs Bunny sucks. It had a starry cloud around it, and its body was transparent, similar to Chungus’s.

“I.. am the O’ Mighty Rabbit,” the thing said.

Chungus’s jaw dropped further. Of course! Jesse’s favorite star constellation. He had always talked about it. But seeing it here.. in front of him.. was something Chungus could have never expected.

“Y-you’re real?” Chungus blurted out.

“Of course I am, young one,” The O’ Mighty Rabbit replied. “I have been watching you closely. Your story touches me. Especially the parts with Jesse. So, I have come with an offer.”

Chungus’s ears perked up with interest. “What is it?” he asked. “Do tell.”

“I present you with a choice. An opportunity, per say, to be with Jesse once again,” the O’ Mighty Rabbit said.

Chungus stared in shock. Was he still dreaming? Either way, he didn’t need to hear more. “I’ll take it! I’ll take it, of course! Anything to be with Jesse.”

“Not so fast,” the O’ Mighty Rabbit said. “This doesn’t come easily. To be with Jesse again, there are things you must do for me first.” Chungus frowned, but that didn’t dampen his hope. “Alright. What do I have to do?”

“It’s quite simple, actually,” the O’ Mighty Rabbit explained. “To be reunited with your Jesse, you must find a happy couple and sabotage their relationship. Once you have done this, I will grant you back your life, and your body will be in the same state as it was right before you were attacked. In addition, I will kill Lukas for you, to make it easier for all of us.”

Chungus paused, confused. “But.. why?? That’s so specific!”

“The answer will come in time, young one,” The O’ Mighty Rabbit said. “Do not question the O’ Mighty Rabbit.”

“Uhm, okay,” Chungus said. “So I just find a couple and kill one of them? That sounds easy enough.”

“No,” the O’ Mighty Rabbit said. “You can’t just simply kill off one of them. You have to find a more creative way to destroy their relationship. And also, it can’t just be any couple. It has to be special.”

“What in the name of Notch does that mean?” Chungus demanded. “You’re just adding stuff onto your request. How do I know which couple is the special one?”

“The truth will come to you in time,” the O’ Mighty Rabbit said. “You will know when you see them. It won’t just be a ‘yeah, this one could MAYBE work,’ no, you will KNOW. You will get a feeling. Trust me.”

Chungus rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright.”

The O’ Mighty Rabbit nodded. “And also, you can’t really do much as a ghost, so I will grant you the power to turn from your real body to a ghost at will.” He snapped his fingers, and Big Chungus turned back into his old body. His tiny rabbit feet touched the ground for the first time in years. Chungus stared at his body in shock, bringing his hands closer to his face to examine them. They no longer were transparent, instead, solid and real. Sudden joy filled Chungus’s entire body.

“Wait,” he said suddenly. “How do I turn back into a ghost?”

The O’ Mighty One chuckled. (I feel like a discord moderator writing ‘chuckled’ bro) “The answer, like many others, will come in time,” he said. “You will have to discover it yourself.”

Chungus felt slightly annoyed and frustrated with that answer, but he didn’t say that out loud. “Okay. Do I get anything else though? Like, I can barely do anything as a ghost.”

“Yes,” The O’ Mighty One said. “I have granted you additional powers. You can use these whenever. But, you must first discover them for yourself. The answer will come in time—“

Chungus was done with this rabbit. “This will come in time, that will come in time, everything I have to know will just come in time! Can’t you tell me anything?”

“Do not question my ways, young one,” the O’ Mighty Rabbit warned. “Anything I have kept from you was within reason. And anyways, if you don’t have the IQ to figure anything out for yourself, maybe you aren’t up for the task.”

“Ugh fineeeeeee,” Chungus said. “So should I be going now..?”

“Yes,” the O’ Mighty One said. “Farewell, young one, and good luck on your journey. When you have completed the task I have assigned you, you may meet me back at this exact location. I will be awaiting your arrival.”

Chungus nodded. “Thank you.” He turned and started to walk away, but the O’ Mighty One’s voice stopped him.

“One last thing. You must be very careful. If you die on this mission, you will have no second chance. You will never see your precious Jesse again.”

Chapter One:

Oh poor Noli, his cooking’s a sin

“DADDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!! I’M STARVINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!! WÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆÆ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!” C00lkidd wailed.

007n7 sighed loudly, putting his face in his hands, wanting to cry. He had so much work to do for his job, on top of taking care of his son, c00lkidd. “C00lkidd, sweetie, just hold on one second, I just need to finish this one thing first..”

“THE HUNGER IS PAINFUL!!!” C00lkidd screamed at the top of his lungs.

“Don’t worry!” Noli said unexpectedly from the couch. “I’ll cook for him.”

007n7 glanced up from his computer, exhausted but surprised. “Really? Noli, are you sure?”

“Of course I am!” Noli said. “I’m an excellent chef. You just haven’t seen me cook before.”

“Thank you,” 007n7 said gratefully, then returned to his work as Noli and C00lkidd went into the kitchen. Maybe he could finally get some peace and quiet…

007n7 tried really hard to focus on his work, but he was so tired. He could barely absorb what he was reading. Maybe he could just close his eyes for a second. Yeah! That was a good idea. He would close his eyes for like, a minute, and then he’d feel much better and he could continue his work in peace. Especially now that Noli was taking care of c00lkidd. He rested his head on his desk, and closed his eyes..

~ 20 minutes later ~

007n7 woke up abruptly to the sound of their fire alarm going off downstairs. It took him a moment to process what was going on. How long had he been asleep?? What was happening?

Then he remembered. Noli was supposed to be making food for c00lkidd! He had never seen Noli cook before, but he had assumed it would be fine. After all, what’s the worst that could possibly happen?

But now that he could hear the alarms blaring loudly, he knew something had gone terribly wrong. With a sudden rush of panic, he jumped out of his chair and ran downstairs. “*sniff sniff* I smell something burning..” 007n7 said suspiciously. (WAIT!~! if the meatloaf is in the baby crib, that means.. the baby is IN THE OVEN! OEH MAI GAWDDDDDDDD 🤯)

(My artistic rendition of what happened) (I dont wanna explain the entire scene cuz im lazy but this is what n7 came down to)

007n7’s jaw fell to the floor at the sight in front of him. Noli stood with c00lkidd behind him, both of them staring at the flames exploding from the stove. “NOLI! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?” 007n7 yelled while running to turn off the stove. “Get me the fire extinguisher! Where is the fire extinguisher??!!”

Noli ran off into the storage closet while 007n7 desperately tried to get rid of the fire. “C00lkidd, get out of here,” he ordered. C00lkidd was too stunned to speak, but he quickly dashed into a different room.

Soon Noli had returned, holding the fire extinguisher in his hands. He aimed at the oven and sprayed it everywhere, both putting out the fire and covering 007n7.

“Noli, what did you d—“ 007n7 tried to speak but broke off into coughs. “Your aim is— your aim is cheeks!”

“I’m sorry,” Noli said. “I guess I won’t be the one cooking anymore, I guess..”

“You guess? You almost burnt the entire house down!” 007n7 yelled, but immediately started coughing and choking after.

“Are you okay?” Noli asked, concerned. He put the fire extinguisher down on the table and came closer to 007n7.

“No!” 007n7 rasped. “How did this even happen? What were you— what were you trying to even make?”

“Uhm..” Noli looked guilty. “I was just trying to make Mac and cheese.” (LIKE IN THE ORIGINAL FANFICTION GUYS READ IT) “I didn’t think.. I didn’t think it would be that hard..”

Also here’s some backstory of what actually happened

(As John Dough always says, Noli’s cooking is a sin)

“Were you even watching it??—“ 007n7 demanded.

“I got distracted,” Noli admitted. “I really am sorry, Seven. Are you alright—? You don’t sound so good.”

007n7 closed his eyes. “You know what, it’s fine, Noli. But c00lkidd still doesn’t have anything to eat, and now I have to do that for him, and I didn’t even get any of my work done.” If he wasn’t going to cry before, he was now. “I have to get this all done by tonight. Noli, my job— they already hate me. I have to do this.” 007n7 forced himself onto his feet and prepared himself, but Noli looked upset.

“I can still help!” Noli said. “I can take c00lkidd out to eat. Or something. And then you can focus on your work.” (Btw noli does have a job its just like.. his day off.. or something)

“You don’t have to,” 007n7 sighed. “I can take care of this.”

“No, I want to,” Noli insisted. “Please.”

007n7 was too tired to protest. “Okay. Thanks, Noli. Just be careful, alright? I’ll probably be done in around 3 hours, if you can keep c00lkidd out of the house that long. Take him to the movies or something.”

Noli brightened. “Sure! I can do that.” He raised his voice to call to c00lkidd. “Come on c00lkidd! We’re going out to eat!” (Let’s eat, c00lkidd vs Leatt eat C00lkidd! :D)

Chapter Two:

Petah. THE HORSE. Is here

Chungus had arrived in Beacontown. He barely recognized it at all. All the buildings he had visited back with Jesse were nowhere to be seen, instead in their place were unfamiliar establishments. Chungus shrugged it off. It had been many years since he had last been here.

He made his way to Jesse and friends’ treehouse, where he had stayed at during his time in Beacontown. At the sight of it, Chungus’s job dropped(I meant to type jaw, not job, but I think it’s funny so I’m keeping it). The once beautiful treehouse had fallen into disrepair. Apparently no one had bothered to replace that door he had ripped off of its hinges 15+ years ago.

A sudden stab of panic shot through his body. Was Jesse even still alive? Surely the O’ Mighty Rabbit wouldn’t bring him back to life if Jesse wouldn’t be there with him? Chungus tried to calm his racing heartbeat. There had to be a reason he was alive again. Jesse was the light of Chungus’s mundane life. Without him, he was nothing. The O’ Mighty Rabbit had been irritating, but he didn’t seem like one to commit such cruelty.

His train of thoughts were interrupted by a loud growling noise. Chungus spun around, ready to face danger, but he soon realized the sound came from his own stomach. Oh, Chungus thought. I’m hungry. As a ghost, he didn’t have to deal with hunger, as he couldn’t even eat. That had been one of the worst parts of being a ghost, besides being apart from Jesse. Chungus rubbed his stomach. Out loud he said, “Man, I’m so hungry, I could eat a —“

“A what?” Chungus turned around to see THE HORSE. standing next to him. “Say it.”

“Uhm, nevermind,” Chungus said. “I think I’ll go vegan today.” (Bro is a bunny I hope he’s vegan) Chungus awkwardly stepped away from THE HORSE. and ran as fast as his little bunny feet could carry him.

Soon, Chungus was back in town. He scanned the area desperately for an Arby’s (his favorite restaurant) but there didn’t seem to be a single one where he was, and he was too tired and hungry to keep searching. Chungus sighed and decided to settle for the nearest McDonald’s. Jesse had always hated McDonalds, so Chungus had naturally tried to avoid them. But right now, it seemed as if he didn’t have a choice.

Chungus swung open the doors of the McDonald’s and stomped into the restaurant, causing the young cashier to jump in surprise. “Uhm, hello sir! What could I get you on this lovely Monday morning?”

Chungus surveyed the establishment. It was mostly empty, besides a single customer eating a sad Big Mac in the corner of the building. There was a suspicious smell wafting from the bathroom, which he assumed was the reason it was so empty.

“I’d like 48 Big Macs, and make it snappy,” Chungus ordered. At the cashier’s mortified expression, he added quickly, “Don’t worry. I’m not that hungry, I had a big breakfast.”

The cashier tried to smile, but Chungus saw concern and disbelief in their eyes. Dang, man. Maybe I should go to McDonald’s more often. I didn’t know people would be so worried about my health! Maybe I should order more Big Macs, just to ease this guy’s mind.

He didn’t have the chance to do that, however, as the cashier said nervously, “I’m going to be right back. Sorry for the inconvenience.” The cashier then hurriedly ran into the backroom. (BACKROO-)

Chungus tapped his foot impatiently while waiting. Jeez, this guy had the AUDACITY to be concerned for Chungus’s health and then just leave him waiting while he starved? See, this kind of stuff is why Jesse never liked McDonald’s.

The thought of Jesse made Chungus’s heart race. He wondered if Jesse was still thinking of him. He had to be. He could almost imagine being back with Jesse, and doing all the things with him he had planned to do but never had the time.

Chungus found himself blushing furiously, and suddenly his entire body felt very light. At first Chungus thought it was because he was just so hungry he felt lightheaded, but then he glanced down and saw that his legs had turned back into his ghostly tail. Chungus gasped, terrified at first, but then he realized. That’s it! That’s how I turn back into a ghost! The secret is love! All thoughts of hunger and food had flown out of his mind as his only thoughts were of Jesse. I’M COMING JESSE! He flew out of McDonald’s and into the street.

• Cashier pov

“Hey, uhm, I’m back with your order, sir,” the cashier yelped, staggering out of the backroom with a gigantic plate overfilling with Big Macs. He came to a stop as he realized that the bunny man was no longer in the restaurant. Confused, the cashier placed the tray down onto the counter. “Sir?” When he got no response, he raised his arm and sniffed his armpit. “Was it me? Do I smell bad? Do I offend?”

• Okay back to chungus pov

Chungus stopped at a completely random zoo. The burst of hope and excitement he had felt mere minutes ago had left him, and he had been starting to slow down anyway.

Man, did he even really think this through? Now his McDonald’s was gone too, as he probably couldn’t relocate the building if he tried. He sat down on a bench, and popped back into his normal form. Oh, Jesse, how I miss you so. Chungus supposed it wouldn’t do any harm if he just lay down and took a short nap. And so he did. (Idk how to end this chapter sorry guys)

Chapter Three

Im really bad at writing

Really long chapter sorrie I didn’t know how to end it 3:

Noli and c00lkidd got in the car together. C00lkidd was holding his beloved Teddy, who Noli rarely ever saw him without.

“I’m STARVING,” c00lkidd complained. “Can we PLEASEEEE go to McDonald’s? Dad neverrrrr lets me go there. He says it’s unhealthy, but what’s MORE UNHEALTHY is yucky broccoli! And I have to eat that ALL THE TIME!”

“I rather dislike broccoli as well,” Noli agreed. “It’s much too green for me. I prefer grapes and eggplants. So, McDonalds?”

“YESSS!!!” C00lkidd exclaimed. “I only got to go there ONE TIME! And THEN NEVERS AGAIN! When we went there it was like, really c00l™️! And they had this super big play area inside, and it was really big, I didn’t even getted to see the whole thing! But that’s because I left because there were so many annoying yucky other kids. And they were so yucky and they were screaming the entire time! So I left. But I got a really weird toy! It was like this yellow ugly minion. Bluudud told me a lot about the Minions, he really likes them for some reason. So I gave it to him! I think that was pretty nice of me. But he said…”

Noli was only half listening to c00lkidd. He was still thinking about his embarrassing kitchen failure. He remembered the last time he had tried to cook something with his friend John Dough — Noli had again almost burnt the entire house down. That day, he had sworn never to so much as touch an oven again. But that had been so many years ago, and back then he had been young and irresponsible. Noli had assumed the worst that could happen this time was that the macaroni might be SLIGHTLY overcooked.

Noli was also annoyed that everything he tried to make ended up as an absolute disaster. He should be cooking for his child, not taking him out to eat at trashy McDonald’s. Even worse than that, though, was that 007n7 had been mad at him. On Noli’s list of top scariest things he could ever experience, 007n7 being mad at him was pretty high up. Noli hoped at least taking c00lkidd out to eat could make it up to him.

“We’re going to go through the drive through,” Noli said. He had learned from the last time he went to McDonald’s that it wasn’t pleasant to eat in there. The employees probably hadn’t cleaned the bathrooms since the Civil War. “What do you want to order, kiddo? I have the menu on my phone.”

“I already know what I want,” c00lkidd said proudly. “Can I get, uhmmmmm, can I get a Big Mac? And a grimace shake for my drink?”

“Okay, a Big Mac, and a grimace shake, got it,” Noli said. “Okay chat let’s go.”

~~ at McDonalds drive through ~~

Noli stopped the car at the drive-thru and cleared his throat. He rolled down the window. “Hello?” he asked.

“Hello, welcome to McDonald’s. What can I get for you?” the voice replied.

“Okay, so, I’d like to get a Big Mac with a Grimace Shake,” Noli started. “And also, a Double Quarter pounder with cheese and an Oreo McFlurry with that, please.”

• Idk what to write here, and im also lazy, so later, they have their food and the good stuff, and they decided to eat in the car

“How’s your food, c00lkidd?” Noli asked.

“IT’S AMAZING!!!” C00lkidd said. “I wish we could go to McDonald’s every single day! Can you take me every day? You’re the c00ler™️ dad!!”

Noli grinned. “Of course. If your dad lets me.” He took a sip of his McFlurry. It definitely tasted better away from the stink of the McDonald’s bathrooms. “Where do you want to go next?”

C00lkidd stopped and thought for a moment. “The zoo!” he exclaimed. “Bluudud went to the zoo once. He told me it was really cool. And also he got this cool stuffed animal! I wanna see if I can get one too!” He held up Teddy for Noli to see. “Teddy says he’s lonely. He wants a friend.”

“The zoo it is then,” Noli declared.

• After they Finnish their food (I thought they were Swedish ngl )

Me at the zoo

“Alright, here we are, in front of the elephants,” Noli said. Behind him was the elephant enclosure. “The cool thing about these guys is that they have really… really, really long trunks.” C00lkidd jumped at the sound of an elephant blaring its trunk loudly. “And that’s pretty much all there is to say,” Noli finished.

C00lkidd suddenly grabbed the sleeve of Noli’s hoodie and pointed at an elephant. “Look! Look, there’s a blue elephant!!”

Noli squinted his eyes. The elephant wasn’t exactly, blue, per se, it was more of a Bluu-gray color. “I’ve never seen that color elephant before,” he said.

C00lkidd turned around and gasped. “FOLLOW ME!!!!!!!” he exclaimed as he dragged Noli all the way to the gift shop. As c00lkidd immediately ran to the plush section, Noli stopped at the front. Maybe I could get Seven a gift, he thought. He wandered around, only getting more disappointed as he continued walking. There probably isn’t anything he would like here.

Noli stopped near the candy section. 007n7 had always had a sweet tooth, even if he wasn’t fond of c00lkidd eating anything too unhealthy. A bag of heart-shaped gummy bears caught his eye, and he picked it up right before he heard c00lkidd’s voice a few aisles away.

“Dad! Look! I found something!”

Noli walked over to see c00lkidd holding a giant rainbow panda bear plushie with bright pink sequins and hearts. “Look! Isn’t she so c00l™️?”

“Awww,” Noli said. “How much is it?”

“I dunno but she’s SO CUTE!!! Can we pretty please please please get her?! Because then Teddy will have a Mrs. Teddy! And I told you he’s lonely!” c00lkidd exclaimed.

“May I see?” Noli asked. C00lkidd handed him the panda and Noli examined the price tag. He winced. It was 50 Robux.

“Oh, kiddo, I don’t know,” he said. “Is there anything else that’s less expensive?”

“But she’s PERFECT!!!” C00lkidd whined. “Teddy loves her! See Teddy, tell Dad how much you love her.” C00lkidd held up his teddy bear and mimicked a deep voice. “Yes, I love Mrs. Teddy. She’s so amazing and we like definitely need her.”

“There are other Mrs. Teddys,” Noli said gently. “What about that one?” He gestured to a small, sad teddy bear on the shelf.

C00lkidd stuck his tongue out. “Teddy doesn’t like that one. He says she smells like broccoli. You said you didn’t like broccoli!”

“Broccoli is good for you,” Noli protested.

“No it isn’t! You’re condrataticting yourself!” C00lkidd said. “We learned about that word in school.” He looked up at Noli with big eyes. “Can we please get her? Please???”

Noli hesitated. “Alright,” he said finally. “We can get it, but you have to be on your best behavior from now on, okay?”

“YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!” C00lkidd yelled. He hugged the panda plushie tightly. “Thank you!!”

Noli and c00lkidd headed to the checkout. C00lkidd pushed his plushie onto the counter and Noli placed down the gummy bears.

C00lkidd turned to face him. “Gummy bears!” he gasped. “Can I have some?”

“They’re for home,” Noli explained. “And also, you already had a Grimace Shake.”

“Awww man,” c00lkidd said, but didn’t argue further.

• ~ once they finish buying their stuff ~

Back in the zoo

C00lkidd was examining his new plushie, analyzing it from all angles, and eventually pressing it against Teddy and staring intently at the result.

“So, is it true love?” Noli asked.

“I don’t know,” C00lkidd said. “I don’t think so. I think they’re gonna start fighting. Maybe you should hold Mrs. Teddy.” He smiled sweetly at Noli. Noli rolled his eyes. “Okay, give her to me.” C00lkidd handed the oversized plushie to Noli.

“Let’s go to the petting zoo!” C00lkidd said. “Bluudud said they had lots of bunnies there.”

“Alright,” Noli said. He followed c00lkidd over to the entrance to the petting zoo, but outside, they saw something strange. There was a giant, morbidly obese bunny resting on a bench right outside the petting zoo, fast asleep. Both of them stopped and stared in confusion.

“Oh,” Noli said finally. “Uhm.. That’s one big bunny.”

“One big buck bunny,” C00lkidd added. “I’m going to go say hi to him!” He started to walk towards the bunny, but Noli held him back.

“C00lkidd, no. Remember, stranger danger?”

“(Creeper)Aw man,” c00lkidd lamented.

“We can go pet the other bunnies,” Noli told him. He remembered again why he disliked zoos. These poor animals were being terribly overfeed. That bunny on the bench couldn’t possibly have much life left in him. He shrugged and followed c00lkidd into the petting zoo.

C00lkidd ran past him to the bunny enclosure. He swung open the gate and stood in a field full of bunnies.

Noli sat down on a bench and pulled out his phone, ready to doomscroll, but something caught his eye. He watched as a bunny ran towards c00lkidd at full speed and jumped into his arms. C00lkidd hugged the bunny tightly and stroked its ears. Noli smiled and turned back to his phone, but THEN he heard c00lkidd’s voice.

“AWWW! Dad look at this bunny? Can we adopt him?”

Noli sighed. It’s always something with this kid. He put his phone back into his pocket and got up.

“C00lkidd, we can’t just adopt this bunny. This is a zoo, not a pet store.”

“But look at him!” C00lkidd pleaded. “He looks so happy to be getting hugs!” He hugged the bunny tighter. Noli was afraid its eyes might pop out. “He probably doesn’t get that much pets here. If I adopted him, he could get pets EVERY DAY.” He stroked the bunny’s fluffy, soft ears. “And I’ve always wanted a pet bunny! Chance has a bunny. Mafioso has a bunny. And Spade and Gubby both really like me. I think bunnies just like me. And also, having pets makes you more responsible! I wrote something for school on that.”

“We can go to a pet shop later and get a different bunny,” Noli said gently. “But we can’t take this one.”

“But he’s so sad here,” C00lkidd protested. “He says he gets bullied by his family.” He glanced down at the bunny. “Nod if you’re sad here.” The bunny nodded its head.

Noli hesitated. “I promised Seven I would never do this again,” he muttered under his breath. “Okay, C00lkidd, we can try to get this bunny. But we have to be very sneaky about it, and we have to wait until tonight. And after this, you can’t ask for anything else for a while, okay?”

“YESSS!” C00lkidd yelled, making some other people in the petting zoo turn and give them weird looks. “Did you hear that, Cuddles? You’re getting a nice home now!”

“Shh,” Noli said. “Remember, we have to be sneaky.” He was starting to develop a plan. He would wait until tonight and escape the zoo in the dark with the bunny, when there were less people and it would be harder to see them. It seemed easy enough, especially with his past experience. Noli was mainly worried about 007n7 finding out and being more upset with him than before. “And also, c00lkidd.. we can’t tell anyone about this, okay? I do mean anyone. It’ll be a secret. We can tell everyone else we got.. uhm.. Cuddles at a pet store.”

“Okay,” C00lkidd said agreeably. He was still focused on petting Cuddles’ head. Noli pulled out his phone to tell 007n7 that they would probably be out for longer than originally intended.

!!! Later !!!

It was now 7:00 p.m. The zoo was closing in an hour, but it was dark enough to carry out Noli’s plan. Noli had just been watching TikTok’s up until this point, but he realized that it was now or never. “Okay, c00lkidd,” he called. “Are you ready?”

“Yah!” C00lkidd exclaimed. He had been petting all of the bunnies while they were waiting, but Cuddles always kept close to his side. C00lkidd scooped Cuddles into his arms and stood next to Noli. “What are you gonna do?”

“We’re going to put Cuddles in this bag,” Noli said. He held out the bag that originally held the gummy bears and Mrs. Teddy. He only hoped that the zoo didn’t overfeed all of their bunnies, and Cuddles would’t break the bottom of the bag.

C00lkidd stared dubiously at the bag. “What if he can’t breathe?” C00lkidd asked.

“This is the only thing we have to carry him,” Noli said patiently. “He can still stick his head out to breathe, but we can’t let him do that in front of other people.”

C00lkidd seemed to think about that for a while. “Okay,” he said finally. “In you go, Cuddles!” Cuddles squeaked in protest as c00lkidd placed him into the bag.

“Now we have to make sure no one sees him as we walk to our car, okay?” Noli explained.

“Okay!” C00lkidd said brightly.

On the way out of the zoo, Noli noticed that the obese bunny was still sleeping on the bench. Really? he thought. This zoo really needs to get their crap together. He wondered what that rabbit must have had to eat to become that overweight.

The rest of the zoo was basically abandoned, with the exception of a few people here and there. By the time Noli and C00lkidd had made it to the parking lot, it was almost completely empty. Noli would guess at least 90% of the cars belonged to the employees.

• Author’s note : Please just let this chapter end I gonna start crying I wanna write big chungus pov

Noli and c00lkidd got back into the car, and c00lkidd carefully arranged his plushies in the backseats, then sat down. C00lkidd gently took Cuddles out of the bag and placed him on his lap.

Noli started the car as c00lkidd began to talk. “I’m tired,” he said, yawning. “I can’t wait to tell Bluudud about my bunny. He said he doesn’t really like them. But I think he’ll change his mind with Cuddles.”

“I bet he will,” Noli agreed, trying to focus on getting out of the parking lot.